Divorcing a Narcissist (Expert Insights and Practical Advice)

At Pullos Lawyers, we understand that divorcing is difficult. When it comes to divorcing a narcissist, it can feel like an impossible task. It’s important to seek legal advice as soon as possible and find a family lawyer to guide you through this tumultuous time with the utmost care and expertise. Below we share some invaluable insights to help you navigate the complexities of divorcing a narcissist and emerge stronger on the other side.

What is Narcissism?

Narcissism exists along a spectrum, ranging from traits commonly observed in individuals to more severe manifestations classified as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). While some individuals exhibit narcissistic traits without meeting the criteria for NPD, others may display characteristics falling on different points of the spectrum

Narcissism is a personality trait characterised by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. The cause of narcissism isn’t known; it could be due to an individual’s environment and the way they were raised, their genetic makeup, or their neurobiology.

Whether your partner has been diagnosed as having narcissistic personality disorder by a medical professional, or you just feel they have narcissistic behaviours, you’ve likely found it very difficult to problem-solve and navigate challenges with them.

Before the Divorce

Prioritise Self-Care

Begin by prioritising your own well-being. Whether it's through journaling, therapy, or simply indulging in activities that bring you joy, investing in self-care is crucial for rebuilding your confidence and resilience.

Build a strong support network

Divorcing a narcissist can be emotionally draining and unpredictable. Surround yourself with supportive friends, family members, and professional services to safeguard your well-being and ensure your safety, as well as that of any children you might share.

Protect Your Children

Shielding your children from conflict is paramount. Establish clear boundaries with your ex-partner and provide your children with the necessary support and resources to cope with the challenges they may face.

Prepare Financially

Save, gather all financial records, and be prepared for the narcissist to attempt to hide finances, money or assets.

During the Divorce Process

Focus On the Big Picture

When negotiating with a narcissist, prioritise your long-term goals and be prepared to compromise on non-essential issues. While it may be tempting to engage in conflict, maintaining a strategic approach can lead to a more favourable outcome.

Document Communication

Keep interactions with your narcissistic partner brief and business-like. Refrain from engaging in arguments or emotional confrontations. Keep thorough records of all communication and interactions with your partner, as these may be valuable assets during legal proceedings.

Seek Professional Support

Consider seeking ongoing support via a counsellor or psychologist to aid in your healing journey - it could be worth extending this journey once divorce has been finalised especially if you share children.

Should I consider Mediation with a Narcissist?

While mediation can be an effective means of resolving family disputes, it presents unique challenges when dealing with a narcissistic spouse. Their manipulative tendencies and gaslighting tactics may hinder genuine compromise. It's essential to approach mediation cautiously and seek guidance from experienced professionals.

Divorcing a Narcissist and Need Legal Assistance?

At Pullos Lawyers, we're here to support you every step of the way. Enquire about a consultation with our compassionate and dedicated team to discuss your options and chart a path forward towards a brighter future. We're committed to helping you navigate this challenging chapter with strength, resilience, and unwavering support, and can assist with a number of family law matters including domestic violence, property settlement, international family law, and child support.